Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The First

Number 1 was a sweet girl. My current thoughts of her: Wanting a second chance. She is still the only one who I can still bear thought of. I found her incredibly attractive and I set my phasers to stun. This wasn't the first crush I've had, but it was the first one I acted on. I made my moves hoping thing would work out, but I never took a big leap. I would talk to her as often as possible and soon she was the only girl on my mind. One day she told me of how she liked a boy. I won't forget the day. I was laying in bed while the television was droning in the background, and she told me there was a boy who caught her interest. My heart dropped. I was practically in love with the girl and she's into someone else. I asked who and she wouldn't say. A slight idea sparked in my head and a beacon of hope took over me and I asked her. "Is it me?"

She quickly replied with a negative and I was crushed all over again. Well already losing interest in her, I was curious and I began to prod her for the answer. Finally she gave in and told me she lied. I knew exactly what she meant but in fear of jumping the gun, I played possum. She said kept indicating that I actually knew what her meaning was and I kept replying as if I was oblivious while my heart was racing. She finally gave in and she confessed she liked me. By this point my mind was racing and I didn't know how to react. I wasn't ready for a girlfriend so I dug for an excuse contrary to my feelings toward her. She was already seeing someone else, so I played that hand. I told her I didn't want her to leave another person for me, even though she complained to be unhappy with her current relationship. After apologizing for twenty minutes, I sealed the deal for the worse.

Number 1 misinterpreted my answer as rejection and our short time left as friends was awkward. Just days later I was contacted by her current boyfriend. He warned me to "stay the fuck away from her" and proceeded to use foul language, notifying me of my own inconsiderate behaviors. I was pretty livid due to the fact that I made the honest decision. He didn't understand that it wasn't I who actually made the lunge. So I sent him record of the conversations showing him exactly how it played out. He then apologized and made a request. He asked me to stop all contact with her. Regrettably, I told him yes.

At this point I don't seem like an asshole. There's an explanation for that, "The Road to Hell Was Paved With Good Intentions". So at that point it was done. I was forbidden from talking to her anymore and it did hurt. They stayed together and I remained miserable. Life began to change for me, so the distractions kept me busy.

1 comment:

  1. OP.
    this was your fault for being a pussy beta male. If you were just bold enough to go with it you probably could have kissed her or some shit. or...was this talk all over the internet? if so this shouldn't even count as a love interest.